WRITING AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Cat House

⬆️“What the hell’s the matter with this printer!”

A DOZEN DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW

Babe is writing her autobiography. The working title is ‘From Window to Window.’

The house in which she lives, which is also where I live, has twelve windows. During the course of a day, Babe, an indoor cat, looks at the outside world from each of them, getting a different perspective, a new POV each time. This is good for an observer,  a philosopher, a thinker.

In terms of writing the book, her penmanship is scratchy at best so she elected me to be her scribe. She wanted it transcribed on parchment paper. When I told her parchment paper may have worked in the days of her ancestors during the glory days of Rome and Egypt, it is not a modern-day practice and would be unacceptable to a publisher.

TO HELL WITH MAINSTREAM PUBLISHERS

“Two things,” she informs me, “first, modern-day practices are of zero interest to me, and second, I don’t give a rat’s ass about publishers. Mainstream publishers are responsible, I should say irresponsible [such a wordsmith, ole Babe] for all the so-called ‘popular’ garbage that’s out there — and that has less than zero appeal to me — and to you, too, I know for sure.”

“This is true,” I agree with her, “but if you want to get your book out to the people—” 

“Yo, Billy,” she cuts in, “that’s what WordPress is for!”

Bada bing, bada boom.

Babe is one smart cat.


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